Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
