the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize