you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
