I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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