The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it because I queefed?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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