Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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