That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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