I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
