i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
