Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
