I wannas sexs uuuuu
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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