this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
