Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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