Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
