he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just got carded by a ten year old.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
