im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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