He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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