HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
