what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
