i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
