My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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