So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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