If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I AM VODKA MAN
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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