just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this boner is exhausting
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
