I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
