Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You need Xanax blowdarts
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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