As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
