I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
