I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Nicole vs. Life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
