i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
