I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
