this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
