the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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