Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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