I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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