he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
