Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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