Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
