Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
