Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize