you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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