I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
