Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
