Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize