What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
