Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
