Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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