I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
