While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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