I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
