he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
