Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
