Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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