Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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