i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize