I hate all girls vehemently.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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