Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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