he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize