remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
