Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Come share oat with me in your robe
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
